In early 1950s England Noel Coward lampooned the whining pessimists of the time--a time when, in fact, life was improving in that country--with a song called "Wait Until We Drop Down Dead." I think of it when I hear people (you know who you are) state that America is terrible shape.

Those of dismal opinion usually are doing just fine themselves, of course, but they want everyone to know their stout opinion that the country needs "change"--and never much mind the details. Why, if we stay on our present uniquely awful course (Oh, how the present generation has suffered!), the future is bleak.

"There are bad times just around the corner
We can all look forward to despair
It's as clear as crystal
From Bridlington to Bristol
That we can't save democracy and we don't much care
If the Reds and the Pinks
Believe that England Stinks
And that world revolution is bound to spread
We'd better all learn the lyrics to The Old Red Flag
And wait until we drop down dead."

Of course, what may really do us in is boredom, the deadly disease of elites throughout history. Unlike the solid, striving middle class, they seldom have patience for long struggles, let alone ambiguities.

Yes, it seems that 21st Century America, led by that "most unpopular" President George Bush, is so disappointing that we need to undergo a thorough cleansing. Everything's got to go.

To get the economy moving we should let the Bush tax rate cuts expire. That is another way of saying, raise taxes. The way to encourage investment is to increase the capital gains tax to 28 percent, right? That would be particularly helpful for the tech sector that is the country's leading source of innovation and new employment. As for the income tax, never mind that the marginal rate cuts of 2003 led to a huge influx of new federal revenue; the thing is that high taxes on high earners are more "fair." That class-conscious fairness will do great things to balance the budget, won't it?

Then we need to re-open NAFTA, because the Canadians and Mexicans are taking such unfair advantage of us. And, in fact, the whole regime of free trade that enjoyed bi-partisan support until literally last year should be"revisited". Start now by repudiating the pending trade pact that the Administration has negotiated with Colombia, even though it greatly helps our businesses and provides moral support for a country hard-pressed by leftist guerrillas that are financially backed by Hugo Chavez. We need to send a message to the budding Castros of Latin America: "We surrender!"

In Iraq, even though we are winning an historic, possibly transformative victory and public opinion there for the first time supports a combined Shia-Sunni government and opposes both al Qaeda and the Iran-backed Sadrites, we need to make pledges to pull out by a time-certain. (Let's just pretend we lost and come home.) The promise, of course would undercut America's clout elsewhere in the Middle East and around the world, inviting new security probes and revive radical extremists, and it is consoling to learn that the leading people proposing the pledge are not really serious. They know that in the end the U.S. can't just cut and run. But they like to say that to keep "the base" happy. The base knows it, too. But striking the peace stance makes them all feel virtuous, a major aim of liberal foreign policy. Never mind what happens how the people in the Middle East take it.

Meanwhile, the great strides we have made in terrorism counter-intelligence are really embarrassing and should not be acknowledged. (No attacks on the U.S. Homeland since 2001? So what!) Instead, we need to expose the phone companies to lawsuits for cooperating with the government in monitoring and tracking prospective terrorists, even though that cooperation is essential to the government's job of protecting the citizenry. By killing the FISA bill we can expiate our guilt for, well, whatever you want.

America's economy still benefits for energy costs below those of our competitors. So this summer, as gas prices rocket upwards, the main thing is to resist the wicked Bush Administration's efforts to find more oil or build nuclear power plants. Plug-in hybrids are fine, of course, but not a high priority. Indeed, the high priority thing is to demand a cessation of that ethanol program that the same "change" artists were demanding be created five years ago. (By the way, the trendy left demands that you stop drinking the bottled water that they were promoting five years ago, too. You gotta stay in style.)

While we are at it, the worst of the housing finance follies may have run most of its course and this country has more home ownership and better housing than 95 percent of the world, but we still need "change" there, too. So let's back the plan now in Congress to bail out the speculators and people who bought a house for nothing down. We'll show the banks who's boss--by giving them a handout through the back door.

At the state level, it is deplorable that several states (Mississippi, amazingly, among them) are finally standing up to the tort artists and reclaiming their prospects for economic growth. Those states that have enacted tort reform are seeing their employment rates go up and new businesses opening. So let's get behind the trial lawyers and unions to reverse this reprehensible trend. Let's also make sure that unions can organize businesses without an actual election of the workers. How's
that for progress?

"Change, change, change!"

Well, okay. Perhaps the truth is that many of the people who fashionably deplore conditions in America today and are backing "Change" don't really want these kinds of changes. Not really. They just are in the self-indulgent phase of summer when a little campaign contribution helps maintain standing at elite cocktail parties on Bainbridge Island or Martha's Vineyard--and avoid arguments with one's brilliantly mis-educated children just home from college. It is like renting and admiring the DVD of "There Will be Blood," the film the Academy of Motion Pictures think speaks most truly about this country's economic and social development. One is just striking a pose.

But "Change" is not an empty slogan in the end. Politicians are sometimes in the custom of enacting the proposals they lay before the public. "Change" is treated as a mandate.

So if you are one of those people calling for "Change", go ahead and enjoy your self-delusion. Only, may it be temporary. The genius of America remains in the traditional values that are exceptional in the world and have made us immensely strong and free. Putting America on the right track means doing more of what we historically have done well. It does not mean bigger government, more liberal courts, more regulation, less free trade, higher taxes and a U.N.-dominated, essentially pacifist foreign policy. And it does not mean social policies that trivialize human distinctiveness and dignity.

The country is not in the bad shape the media and the caustic critics claim. It could be, however, if we listen to them.

Until then I'm singing, "Wait until we drop down dead."